12 Questions with Jessica Ireju on Telling Stories with Authenticity & Audacity!

I have spent the last couple of years telling stories, and most recently, those stories have required me to interview different women on different subject matters—from postpartum depression to moving countries for HER Green Room. I wondered what it would be like to be on the other end, not with the questions this time but with the answers. So, I asked my dear friend Chidinma, who is an amazing writer, to come up with 12 questions that I could answer for my birthday this year, and she delivered excellently. I had a lot of fun answering these questions, but most importantly, I hope you find pieces to take with you.

In your early twenties, you started writing letters to God and you constantly say that you are “an accidental writer”. Did you ever guess that years later, you’d become the writer you are now?

Short answer: No. Long answer is—I started writing because I didn’t think I had the language for prayer—or should I say, my idea of what prayers were. I wrote letters to God in my journals as a form of therapy to make sense of the different upheavals I was experiencing in my life at the time. An opportunity from a digital media platform at the time gave me a chance to share some of these writings with an audience. Then the comments and DMs I received after writing these essays made me realise my words resonated with others and maybe they could help someone. I shared not just for them, but so that I could feel less alone as a millennial woman navigating life and the many in-betweens. That’s why I call myself “an accidental writer”—it wasn’t really part of the plan.

What’s your love language and how would you like to be loved?

I like to believe I am a simple girl, and love for me is spelled in thoughtfulness, intentionality, and commitment. If we were to go by the classic five love languages, I would say I am definitely a words-of-affirmation girl (it’s no surprise, I’m a writer!) and, most recently, acts of service. I like to take a break now and then, letting people love me by serving a current need. I don’t know if this counts as a love language, but if you engage with the stories I share, or genuinely promote content I create, you have just won a special place in my heart (bonus points if I didn’t have to ask!).

You’ve written two beautiful books and created an inspiring body of work. What’s your why?

My why is simple: to inspire people to live purposefully every day—not just in the grand moments but in the mundane. That’s why I tell stories. I believe that simple stories are as powerful as sermons and, in the words of Pastor Laju Iren, “stories change our minds by targeting our hearts.” I believe in the power of vulnerable storytelling, authentic content, and audacious narratives as a catalyst for transformation in the lives of individuals, especially women like me who often need a reminder that they can live life authentically and purposefully regardless of the perceived limits in their lives.

You’ve created great works. What’s your favourite out of everything you’ve created?

Every piece of content I’ve shared and story I have told holds pieces of me in some form and represents a part of my journey, so it would definitely be hard to pick one. But I have to say my essay The Green Room  is really special to me because it was one of the first writings I ever did and got credit for. It solidified my entrance into the storytelling space and was one of the first times I was vulnerable with an audience. In every season of my life, the message still resonates—and it’s tied into the vision for HER Green Room.

You’re often inspiring other women/telling their stories. Which women pour into/inspire you? How will you be embracing more mentorship and growth in future?

I’m privileged to be blessed and surrounded by women in my life who have enabled me to believe that a woman can have it all, starting with my mother. Both of my grandmothers have inspired me by their fearlessness and faith. My biological sister, Yunis, has shown me that a woman who is loved and nurtured can experience full bloom. The women in my family constantly teach me about sisterhood in the way they love and show up for each other. My friends are these incredible, diverse sets of women that have created safe spaces for me. Then there are other women, some I have never met—from role models to online figures and strangers—who continually inspire my desire to live a legacy my daughters and nieces would be proud of. I’m hopeful that in this new chapter of my life, I’ll not just pour into other women but also be invited to sit at tables with other women where I’ll glean from their wisdom in humility and grace.

In your first BellaNaija feature, you wrote about the green room—that quiet place of waiting and becoming. How did the green rooms of your 20s shape you into the woman you are today?

My green rooms were often occupied with grief, loss, and heartbreaks, and if I’m honest, they were quite challenging times. But those rooms were also purpose rooms for me. I learned to be alone with God, to serve in humility without being seen, and had the audacity to tell stories without needing an audience to validate the calling of God on my life. My green rooms were places that taught me to live for an audience of one, and they are a constant reminder of God’s love, faithfulness, and grace in seasons of quietness and on the days where I’m tempted to tie my worth to the world’s metrics of what success is—whether that’s career wins or marriage—especially as I am currently in another Green Room.

What do you look forward to in this new chapter of your life?

I look forward to falling in love with my life, curating wonderful memories, and serving purpose in the assignments and people God sends my way—from family, friends, and strangers, to online communities. I am also looking forward to telling stories across new mediums, as I’m currently exploring my interests in journalism, screenwriting, development communications, sustainability, and documentary filmmaking.

The “what I’m currently loving or doing” part of your newsletter is always so juicy. How do you find the best materials: movies, podcasts?

I am an extremely curious individual and like to learn how things work, especially as I am a multifaceted individual with varying interests. I’m constantly online because of the nature of my job, which means I often come across interesting content. YouTube is one of my favourite apps, and I’m low-key a nerd who likes to share whatever I’m currently excited about!

Why are you fascinated by immigration stories and why have you not “japad”?

A lot of my friends moved abroad post-#EndSARS, and it affected the dynamics of our relationship. I was also privileged to hear their struggles even as they shared their successes, and I thought to myself: why is nobody documenting these stories?

I find that most times when the japa topic is discussed, there are often two extremes—the people for, and those against—but life isn’t exactly black and white. I thought to find the grey line in these stories with my interviews on #DiasporaDiaries with women who had moved to a different country so that people could be encouraged to live purposefully whether at home or abroad.

It is also important to me as a storyteller and Nigerian that we must be very careful how we tell our migration stories—as by constantly putting out narratives, it is the place from which stereotypes are born. I believe these stories should not always be from a place of oppression, desperation, and hopelessness. While these narratives exist, so do migration stories based on love, purpose, and a desire to see all of God’s beauty across different continents.

As for why I haven’t “japad” yet, I believe that life is about living purposefully in every season. While I’m open to opportunities and have projects that might require me leaving Nigeria in future, I’ll always consider Nigeria home regardless of when I move countries (I know I’m one of those people who still believe Nigeria will work). I love more people than I can fit on an aeroplane, and purpose hasn’t called in a different country. When I get that call, I’ll move—viewing migration as another opportunity to live purposefully in foreign territories with no regrets, because I’ve lived this chapter in Nigeria to the fullest.

How have you been able to carve new paths for yourself over the years, including in your career, and despite disappointments?

I know what my purpose is, and it is not a career. That’s why I try not to hold tightly to titles or people’s ideas of what success is—whether I’m writing from my bed at home or working for social impact-driven and not-for-profit organisations. I believe it’s important that people learn that it’s okay to change their minds or transition into new career paths as long as they are purposefully led. I’ve had some disappointments along the way, but these have always pushed me to lean solely on God, create innovatively, and push myself outside of my comfort zone—going wherever God leads me, whether that’s switching career paths from a degree in Archaeology to work roles in communications; starting a podcast or even learning a new data skill. It’s a good thing I have the Holy Spirit, so I’m confident I can learn to thrive in foreign spaces and take up new assignments—because the One who sends me arrives before I even get there

You have a newsletter where you write your unfiltered thoughts. What’s the motivation for holding on to your identity as just Jessica? How are you able to balance doing your work on social media with living for real?

I have a diverse range of career experience and hold a lot of titles—from Writer to friend. Add that with creating content and sharing on social media, and it comes with expectations and weights. I started the Just Jessica column on HER Green Substack as a reminder of who I am—not just the things I do. I wanted to hold firmly to an identity that wasn’t tied to my current titles in life while curating my authentic thoughts for me and anyone who was curious enough to meet the flawed version of me. I constantly remind myself that social media isn’t real life, follower numbers are not friends, and having a ring light does not signal living purposefully—so that I can choose to live for an audience of one outside of my work. Just Jessica resonated with people because I’ve invited them to see the mundane parts of my life so that they can be inspired to find beauty in theirs.

What would you tell the young woman in her 20s who is unsure, feels purposeless, but really wants to live intentionally?

I would tell her to be gentle with herself and give her a hug. I think most times in your twenties, you are bombarded with advice from well-meaning people and content on social media—which is great sometimes—on how you should live your life. Add that with comparing your life with others on social media, and it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough, behind, or least loved. I would say be intentional about building a friendship with God, choosing yourself, and be okay with your life not looking like anyone else’s. Master these, and it would flow into the career choices you make, the friendships you choose to cultivate, and the decisions you make regarding your finances, marriage, or even who you follow on social media. I promise you, it all comes together as you decide to walk with God one day at a time through the uncertainty, doubt, and worries that sometimes come with becoming an adult. You are loved, and your life was made to serve purpose—not prove a point!