Closet Conversations Series for Mothers Day – Zulaikha Afolabi on Faith & Family

The evolution of a woman is one that intrigues me in every season of life. A woman becomes in every season, juggling different roles, but motherhood especially fascinates me in the way I watch my family and friends stretch, sacrifice, and surprisingly find new strength in nurturing life.  

Zulaikha Afolabi is one woman who has invited us into her evolution through her YouTube channel and by sharing content on social media as a content creator for brands. That’s why Zulaikha was the perfect person to have this conversation with at HER Green Room as part of The F Files focused on Faith and Family for Women’s Month. 

I first stumbled on her video scrolling on YouTube as a young girl sharing her faith, from seeing her beautiful wedding clips on Instagram to watching her steward Blessed Mum Hub as a new mum herself. I found her vulnerability about motherhood in the content she shares both beautiful and empowering, because her authenticity doesn’t just reveal the struggles; it reflects the joys of motherhood too.

In this conversation, Zulaikha shares honestly about trusting God through a traumatic childbirth experience, the surprising realities of marriage, the quiet seasons that reshape purpose, and why mothers need community just as much as they need strength. 

Because motherhood is not simply a role women perform; it is an invitation to reveal another dimension of our purpose while deepening our faith.

Marriage and motherhood are such beautiful experiences. How do you stay grounded in your own identity, separate from your titles as a mum and wife?

I believe it starts with knowing who you are in Christ. That’s why it’s important to know who you are before getting married. Some people wait for marriage to complete them, but Scripture reminds us that we are complete in Him. When you understand who God has called you to be and the assignment upon your life, you remain grounded in your identity. So when marriage comes and motherhood happens, it flows from who you already are.

Another thing that helps me is spending time in the Word of God and intentionally doing things that genuinely make me happy — things I’m passionate about. Going for outreaches, building Blessed Mum Hub, hosting events, creating content, writing, even going to the gym — all these remind me that I am not only a wife and a mum. I am a whole person with passions, purpose, and interests.

You shared a vulnerable social media post and a video on your YouTube channel about your childbirth experience, which was quite challenging and different from your expectations. What advice would you give to women whose motherhood journeys have not gone exactly as planned?

The big word here is trust. Do you trust God to cause it all to work together for your good?

To be honest, it was very hard. The trauma was real. But that trauma made me trust God more. It made me more dependent on Him because I couldn’t do it alone.

My advice would be: let God in. Talk to Him about your feelings like you would with a friend. Seek help where necessary — see a therapist if you need to. Let your husband know how he can support you in that season. Make sure you have a supportive village because you cannot do motherhood alone.

Very importantly, don’t allow the enemy to steal your joy. Stay in God’s Word. Remain joyful even when it feels difficult. Play songs of praise and worship — let worship become your weapon in dark seasons. You will come out stronger and more equipped to help others navigate challenges.

You have quite an interesting journey to marriage. You met and married your husband in 10 months. What shocked you the most about marriage, and what advice would you give to a single woman?

People talk about culture shock — I think marriage shock should be a thing. 

You meet a person and you’re convinced he is God’s will, and you embark on this lifelong journey. Many times, you expect not to have misunderstandings. What shocked me was realising that we did have disagreements.

As a new wife, it can be surprising because you feel like you should always be on the same page. I’m learning that we are two different people with different ideas and perspectives. It’s okay not to always agree. The most important thing is not allowing disagreements to define the relationship.You can disagree without being disagreeable. 

Always have a plan to reconcile. For example, decide that you will talk things through and not give each other the silent treatment.

In the early years of marriage, you are still learning from each other, and that is quite different from courting. Don’t expect perfection — focus on resolution, learning, and growing together.

To single women: please don’t settle. Don’t marry the wrong person because you’re tired of waiting. If deep within you know he is not right for you, don’t ignore that conviction. Marriage is lifelong — choose wisely.

You are quite an accomplished woman. You have a Master’s degree in Broadcast Journalism, and your YouTube channel has millions of views alongside other endeavours. How do you balance pursuing your dreams and being a mother, especially as many new mothers struggle to navigate their careers?

Honestly, I don’t think I have a perfect balance. Some days feel out of control. I’m still navigating this season. 

One thing I am learning is that to everything there is a time and season. After I had my daughter, I wasn’t in paid employment for close to two years. At some point, I felt behind — like motherhood was slowing me down.

But I later understood that God needed me to pause. I needed to heal. He was shaping me and placing new assignments in my heart. That quiet season was when He began speaking to me about Blessed Mum Hub.

So I wouldn’t say I’m pursuing dreams; I would say I’m following purpose. And purpose gives me peace. 

When you have growing children, there are sacrifices to make in order to keep them grounded in those early years. It’s a blessing to be present in that season.I avoid comparison. I walk in my own lane and follow God the best way I can in each season.

You have written a faith-based devotional, you run The Saved Woman Outreach, and you are a pastor’s wife. How do you stay anchored in your personal faith, even as your different roles require you to show up as a faith leader for others?

The main thing that anchors me is constantly asking God for help. I never want to be busy doing God’s work and lose intimacy with Him. Everything I am and everything I do flows from that intimacy. 

I spend time with God in the mornings when it’s quiet. But beyond quiet time, I carry His presence throughout my day. I talk to God constantly because He is my friend.Intimacy with God shouldn’t be limited to devotion time — it should be a lifestyle.

You organised a hangout for mums in 2025 through Blessed Mum Hub, a platform you started. Why is it important to you that women have opportunities and resources to be vulnerable and empowered, especially as mothers are often the ones pouring into others?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, it felt lonely sometimes. My husband is very supportive, but mothers need other mothers. I once spoke with women in their forties, and something they said stayed with me. They shared how many older women feel bitter or unfulfilled because they poured everything into being wives and mothers but neglected their own wellbeing and dreams. That struck me deeply.A woman should never forget that she was a person with dreams and vision before she became a wife or mother. Many women are emotionally drained and exhausted.Community changes that. It reminds us we are not alone. Blessed Mum Hub was born not just because I wanted to empower women — but because I needed the community too. Motherhood should not be done alone. We need safe spaces to be vulnerable, to rest, to be encouraged, and to access resources that help us thrive.

In what ways did motherhood change you and your faith?

Becoming a mother helped me see God’s love in a new light. Before, I understood God’s love intellectually. Now I understand it experientially. The way I love my daughter — fiercely and protectively — gives me a glimpse of how God loves me.Motherhood stretched me. It exposed my weaknesses and deepened my dependence on God. My prayers became more urgent and more sincere. Motherhood didn’t just add a role to my life; it deepened my faith.

As someone who creates content in a time when many people are actively documenting their lives online, how do you balance sharing your life publicly and protecting the people you love, especially your daughter, from the downsides of social media?Boundaries are everything. I share my experiences, but I don’t feel pressured to share every detail of my daughter’s life. She is not content — she is a person.I always ask myself: Is this serving her future or just serving engagement? If it’s the latter, I won’t post it. Privacy is protection. I choose intentional visibility not just for “aww”, views, and likes.

What is the worst motherhood advice you have received, and what is the best advice you would give to a young mother trying to be a great parent?

One of the worst pieces of advice I’ve received is: “Have all your children at once and rest later.”

That might work for some families, but not for everyone — and certainly not for us. My husband and I are intentional about the life we want to build. We don’t plan to have many children simply because it’s expected. We want to be present. We want to raise godly children thoughtfully and steward them well. Motherhood is not a race.

The best advice I would give is actually one I got from PL (Laju Iren). I reached out to her when I was really struggling a few weeks after having my daughter. She mentioned that no two days are the same, so you will need fresh grace every day.

God’s grace and mercy are new every morning. Instead of striving to master motherhood, lean into daily dependence. That’s what I am learning to do.

I will also add: give yourself grace — lots of it. You are not perfect; you are also learning on your journey. Give your husband, your children, and the people around you grace too.

As a woman yourself, what is one lesson you would want to instill in your daughter on her journey to becoming a woman?

I want her to know she never has to shrink because someone feels intimidated by her.

I was a confident child, but as a teenager, I became overly concerned about what people thought of me. I sought approval, and that slowly affected my self-esteem.I don’t want that for her.

I want my daughter to understand that confidence is not arrogance. That being gifted, bold, intelligent, or expressive is not something to tone down to make others comfortable.Her worth is not negotiable.

And beyond confidence, I want her identity anchored in God: not applause, not validation, not comparison.

 

Motherhood, as Zulaikha reminds us, is not always perfection, but it can be purposeful as we learn to trust God in seasons that stretch us, allowing ourselves to be supported by community, and remembering that before the title of mother, a woman is still a person with a unique purpose and identity in God. As we celebrate Mother’s Day, I celebrate the women who are becoming so that their children can be; stretching so that they can nurture, and evolving without relinquishing the strength of their identity.

 

To connect with Zulaikha, follow her on Instagram: @thesavedwoman

Blessed Mum Hub: @blessedmum_hub

The Saved Woman Outreach: @tsw_outreach

Check out her YouTube channel: The Saved Woman

Get Zulaikha’s Devotional: The Saved Woman’s Devotional